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Self Control Counselling in Vernon

Suddenly you feel driven to react in a way that is not good. It might show up as anger, distraction, procrastination, ADHD or OCD. Impulses like that seem to come from deep within us and take over without permission. Counselling for self-control, or self-regulation is all about paying attention to how those impulses work and then learning strategies to slow them down. 

Dashboard metaphor for self-control and self-regulation

Sometimes, you can fix impulsive reactions by learning some wisdom about willpower, self-discipline and restraint. For some of us that is just not enough. Real change, for us, is going to take direct action on the systems in our brains and bodies. Practical tools to help us regulate our thinking and body emotions can help return us to balance. Its a big step when you decide of take on this inner world. In may counselling, self control is often about these topics. 

Anger and Anger Management


Even though anger is useful in some situations, too much anger will ruin your relationships and distract you from daily life. You might fit into one of these two categories that I often meet. 

1. Why am I suddenly an angry person?


Situations that you used to handle calmly now spark your anger. It comes as a surprise that you are angry, and you wonder what has happened to cause this. Often this happens when stress or disappointment build up inside without getting addressed.

Counselling for this usually involves helping my clients untangle the web of troubles and challenges they are facing. We work on identifying what the real stressors are and what they need for more healthy, balanced living. We also work on strategies to slow anger down when it appears. 

2. Can I learn alternatives to anger?

You have come to notice your anger is harming relationships. You have decided to tackle this issue so you can improve life for those around you, and for yourself. Some of us are just wired a bit hot. Maybe you get angry more easily than others and it has always been this way.

Counselling for this goes in two directions. First, we work on understanding what anger really is in our brains and bodies, so you can get better at seeing anger before it gets into full force; you will also learn strategies to slow anger down or let it pass without causing so much damage. Second, we explore how anger got started in your life so you can use insight and perspective to build wisdom for better choices.

OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder


Obsessions are unwanted persistent or intrusive thoughts; compulsions are strong urges to take certain actions. The unwanted thoughts might be about fear of dirt and bacteria, needs for order, or even horrific thoughts about losing control and harming others. Compulsive urges might be about washing, routines, checking or needing reassurance.

Thankfully there has been a lot of psychological research on how to improve OCD. Counselling involves learning to get some distance from these urges so even though you still might feel them, they can pass without taking over your mind and actions. Mostly my approach uses cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). 

ADHD - Attention Deficit Disorder

New research on ADHD shows that it is not really a deficit of attention, but a difference in how attention moves around, switching from one thing to the other. If you have ADHD, your mind may be full of thoughts and distractions that make it hard for you to stay focused on one task, stay organized or fulfill long-term plans. In counselling, we work on developing practical skills and habits that help, based on the most current science about ADHD. We also recognize that ADHD personality is a lifelong, persistent trait. As you understand yourself better, you are better able to plan a lifestyle or occupation that suits you best.


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